I’m not a religious person.  Far from it in fact.  I’ve gone through phases in my life.  There was the phase when I stopped believing altogether.  The other was believing that a superior being does in fact exist, but there’s no way he would demand his flock to go through hoops in order to avoid his wrath.  Then there was the phase of I want nothing to do with it (may have had something to do with the divorce), and there’s now, the phase of not practicing, not affiliating, but watching and learning and picking just a couple of really ancient practices and the belonging part.  I belong, but I don’t practice.  I can live with that.

I think I lost the belief when I was around nine.  Later on in life, I fell in love with a religious girl, and I was ready to put on the show for her, but she saw through the charade, it didn’t work.  I ended up marrying a religious woman (Mrs. Hayardeny the 1st), but we split up, mainly, but not exclusively based on our religious differences (or my lack thereof).  I accepted myself as a secular person.  But I do have these idiosyncrasies about religion that I can’t, and I don’t want to shake.  On every door in my house I have a “Mezuzah”, a shell of either wood, metal or ceramics that is put on the right side of the door, and contains a small piece of parchment with some special verses from the bible.  As I said, I’m not a believer, but somehow I feel that this little shelled parchment adds some special protection to the house and to the family residing in it.

And I love the bible.  I know, you might think that love of the bible must go with belief.  Well, I hate to break it to you, it doesn’t.  If you’re a Hebrew speaker who is still connected to the language of the bible, you’d know what I mean.  Whoever wrote the bible had language skills which are not in existence today.  Describing stories in a delightful way, putting together abstract concepts using few words, is a skill I don’t see in today’s writers (maybe a very selected few).  Most certainly I don’t own it.  But I can read it, and I enjoy it.  Think about it: I can read a two to three thousand year old document freely, without hesitation, without running back and forth to some dusty old dictionary or to the local university archaeological department.  It’s very cool.  Speaking a language that was spoken for five thousand years in one form or another, is very cool as well.  Hebrew is a beautiful language.  Biblical Hebrew is a hundred times more beautiful.

And there’s King David.  The king of Israel and Judea, and yes, of course, the King of Poets.  King David wrote the book of Psalms, and the Song of Songs.  His only serious competition was King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, and King David’s own son.  King Solomon wrote the book of Proverbs, and the book of Ecclesiastics, and more.  I have a special love for Ecclesiastics because it presents doubt, it presents a dilemma, and although at the very end of it, it also presents a solution a resolution and a recommendation, many, myself included, don’t believe that the last part was actually written by King Solomon.  It’s much more likely that the end of the book was written by the Bible’s editors, making their best effort to avoid dealing with the question whether or not King Solomon had lost his belief in his old days.

The Psalms, poems or songs, were actually part of thousands of years of Jewish rituals in Jerusalem.  The Levites, the tribe of priests, were singing and chanting these poems on certain occasions when they were doing their holy work at the House of God in Jerusalem.  Even today, when Jews congregate at the synagogue every day (I personally am a non-congregational Jew), they read,, sing, chant, and recite these Psalms.  I doubt that there are any songs in the history of mankind, that were sung more consistently, continuously, without change for such a long time.

And there’s the “Song of Ascents”.  My personal favorite.  It’s short, yet it’s full of trust, belief, and optimism.  It’s just beautiful.  The name “Song of Ascents”, comes from the fact that the Levites were chanting it on their way up the stairs to do their holy work.  The Hebrew is just beautiful.  The translation isn’t so great.  I decided to present to you the Hebrew version, a couple of translations I found on the web, and my own shot at translating this masterpiece.  Here it is.

תהילים קכא

א שִׁיר לַמַּעֲלוֹתאֶשָּׂא עֵינַי אֶל-הֶהָרִים   מֵאַיִן יָבֹא עֶזְרִי. ב עֶזְרִי מֵעִם יְהוָה   עֹשֵׂה שָׁמַיִם וָאָרֶץ. ג אַל-יִתֵּן לַמּוֹט רַגְלֶךָ    אַל-יָנוּם שֹׁמְרֶךָ. ד הִנֵּה לֹא-יָנוּם וְלֹא יִישָׁן   שׁוֹמֵר יִשְׂרָאֵל. ה יְהוָה שֹׁמְרֶךָ    יְהוָה צִלְּךָ עַל-יַד יְמִינֶךָ. ו יוֹמָם הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ לֹא-יַכֶּכָּה    וְיָרֵחַ בַּלָּיְלָה. ז יְהוָה יִשְׁמָרְךָ מִכָּל-רָע    יִשְׁמֹר אֶת-נַפְשֶׁךָ. ח יְהוָה יִשְׁמָר-צֵאתְךָ וּבוֹאֶךָ   מֵעַתָּה וְעַד-עוֹלָם

Psalms 121 - Translation 1

A Song of Ascents. I lift my eyes to the mountains - from where will my help come? My help will come from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot falter; your guardian does not slumber. Indeed, the Guardian of Israel neither slumber nor sleeps. The lord is your guardian; the Lord is your protective shade at your right hand. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The lord will guard you from all evil; He will guard your soul. The Lord will guard your going and your coming from now for all time.

Psalms 121 - Translation 2

A Song of Ascents.
I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains: from whence shall my help come?
My help cometh from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved; He that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold, He that keepeth Israel doth neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is thy keeper; the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall keep thee from all evil; He shall keep thy soul.
The LORD shall guard thy going out and thy coming in, from this time forth and for ever. {P}

Psalms 121 - Translation 3

I lift up my eyes to the hills –
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip –
He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you –
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm –
He will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forever more.

And my own

A Song of Ascents.  I raise my tearing eyes to the mountains - where will help come from?  Help will come from God, Creator of the heavens and the earth, he shall not let my foot slip, my guard shall never sleep.  The guard of Israel will not shut his eyes.  God shall be your keeper, God shall be your shade on your right hand side.  The sun shall not strike you at the daytime, nor the moon at night, God shall protect you from all, God will guard your soul.  God shall watch your comings and goings from now and until the end of time.

No need to be observant and practicing to appreciate poetry or bible.

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“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” the book of Genesis suggests.  It then goes through the description of the rest of creation for five more days, coming to a screeching halt with the creation of man.  The bible and its interpreters propose that once the crown jewel was created, God rested.  I propose that once the goal was accomplished, the project concluded, and God took a day off to reflect, to run a postmortem on the project, got discouraged with the results, and took a day off.

Here’s how it went.  God created the heavens and the earth and waited.  He then threw in some light.  But neither the heavens nor the earth offered a prayer, a sacrifice.  They just sat there and watched.  God went on.  He separated the skies and the waters and waited some more.  In vain.  Nobody was excited to see Him.  The continents came out next, with plenty of plants, shrubs and greenery.  Failure.  No recognition of greatness.  No gratitude.  God started to feel somewhat discouraged.  But He still went on and created the moon, the sun and the stars.  Nada.  Silence.  The birds and the sea creatures followed, but they had no time for God.  They were too busy reproducing and chasing each other before dinner.  No attention to their Maker.  Finally, with whatever motivation he had left, God created the land animals - still nothing, and finally Man.  When he turned around to leave the failed experiment he noticed the altar, the praying man, the recognition, the admiration.  Bingo, he thought, jackpot.  That was it.  God liked it, paid himself a nice bonus and called it a day.  Mission accomplished.  A creature was created that actually took the time to develop creation stories, a way of life, all centered around Him.  Can you ask for more?  Can anyone do better?  Or worse?

But then He noticed that it wasn’t all good.  The first political assassination happened when there were a handful of humans on earth.  Cain killed Abel because he developed the perception that God was paying more attention to Abel’s sacrifices than to his own.  Then there was this all charade about the serpent talking Eve into eating some apples, sharing them with her husband or something.  Finger pointing, nasty headlines, it wasn’t looking so great.  But God let it go for a few generations, until He realized that no good will ever come out of this.  He asked Noah to prepare the arc, and flushed the earth.  Another unsuccessful attempt to curb these no good humans.

God started attending a support group for disappointed Gods.  Other Gods shared their experiences in creating ungrateful, deceitful, destructive species.  The conclusion was unanimous.  Just leave them alone, they will destroy themselves, they will destroy their environment.  The humans were left alone.  The original God was not sufficient anymore, they came up with new ones, with stronger powers, tougher demands.  They appointed priests who made up Heavenly instructions of killing other humans in whatever God’s name.  God packed and left for some other planet, free of humans.  He was cured.

Today, thousands of Gods walk the earth.  They communicate to a very well selected few.  They accept gifts, cash and checks.  They advertise, they instruct, they teach you how to be better, what to eat and whatnot, they know it all.  The representatives that is, not the Gods…  Some people are already asking: who created whom?  Did God create man?  Or did Man create god?  I have no inside information on this one.  Apologies…

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Long corridor, doors to the left and right. You move forward and you can’t go back. You open some doors, ignore others. Some doors you’ve opened, you wish you hadn’t, others you wish you would have opened. One door at the end of the corridor, no choice there - everyone must open.

Lessons? Trust your instincts, enjoy the open doors, don’t miss the closed ones, and never regret your choices.

Life is good.

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June 1, 1999. A century ago, in fact a millennium ago, at almost midnight, at Tucson Medical Center in Arizona, you came out. You were tiny, not even five pounds. I looked at you and I fell in love with you. Right there and then. You brought so much happiness into my life. In fact when you were born I knew that my transformation was complete. I really had a new family.

You grew up to be beautiful, smart, funny. You are confident, knowledgeable, curious, inquisitive. You speak a few languages, and you have a great sense of humor. you’re everything I wasn’t at your age: happy, well traveled, good student, well liked. You bring your mother and I so much pride and joy.

Congratulations, Shiri on your ninth birthday. My grandmother, after whom you were named would have been so proud of you. Keep doing what you’re doing, charm the heck of everyone who knows you, look forward, stay curious, and most importantly, stay happy.

Happy Birthday Shiri!

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For one reason or another I found myself busy thinking about hypocrisy lately.  Double standards, expecting others to do the “right thing” while allowing oneself to behave differently.  The problem is that once I started thinking about I suddenly started seeing it everywhere.  Where do I start?  Lets start at the personal level.

I doubt that any of you are following the news media in Israel.  Of course, you do follow the news media coming out of Israel, simply because it can’t be avoided.  A small country of seven million generates as much news as a superpower.  But I chose to start on the internal news first, because it leads to the topic I chose to deal with first: personal hypocrisy.

In recent weeks, there have been quite a few articles about incest, child abuse, wife beating, and even rape within religious families in different parts of the country.  The news media indeed seemed to have been making a feast out of this embarrassing and terrible stories.  Possibly because the families involved were religious.  In fact, not only religious, but ultra-religious.  Some of the talkbackists and bloggers in Israel were immediately discussing the importance of mentioning that the families are from ultra-orthodox background.  Some concluded that the fact isn’t newsworthy, but others, myself included thought that indeed, it’s very important to know the background.  Why, you ask?  Simple.  One word: expectations.

The religious create this aura of morality around them.  They, after all, answer to a higher authority.  They are (or portray themselves as) pious, peaceful, have a special and more direct relationship with God.  The expectation is that if someone preaches for a certain behavior which includes morality, modesty, honesty, fairness, will at least subject themselves to the same code.  Yet you find, more than occasionally, that this isn’t the case.  I actually hears about an ultra-orthodox Jewish prostitute who would eat only kosher food.  Not to mention various pedophile priests.

When a regular person trips, I can easily accept it as a mistake.  When a religious person trips, it upsets me twice more.  Because I expect.  When a policeman takes bribe, or doesn’t surrender the entire drug bust, and instead sells it on the street, it’s ten times as bad.  When Elliott Spitzer, a person who went after corruption as a blood hound, ends up using a “high-end prostitution ring” it’s a hundred times as bad.  When the president of Israel is accused of rape, not consensual sex between adults, you feel that hypocrisy has reached new heights.

Countries can be hypocritical as well.  Consider this: building a long wall between the US and Mexico, a peaceful country is OK.  Building a reasonably similar between Israel and its murderous neighbor isn’t.  Annihilation of the Jews in Europe in World War II is considered a Holocaust, a genocide.  Reasonably similar events for the Armenian in Turkey, Native Americans, or millions in Darfur aren’t recognized as such.  Everyone is screaming “free Tibet”, but nobody is screaming “free Iraq” or “free Afghanistan”.  Bad intelligence justifies taking over an entire country, a single even (granted, it was spectacular) justifies taking over another, and sixty year of constant abuse, terrorism, hostage situations, does not justify self defense?

Roger Cohen, International Herald Tribune editorial from April 7, suggests that the Chinese government “face some greater truths”: “These include the facts that a half century of repression has not worked; that the Dalai Lama is the most moderate Tibetan interlocutor they will find; that he has called for autonomy but not independence; and that he is a revered global figure”.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Or am I losing my mind?  Yasser Arafat, a revered global figure, a Nobel laureate, for peace of all things, was presented to the world, by the media and the US as the “most moderate Palestinian spokesman the Israelis could ever hope to find.  He also asked for autonomy, not independence, which he indeed received.  In return he delivered nothing.  Not to the Israelis and most certainly not to the Palestinians.  He’s dead now, and his people are way behind where they were twenty years ago.

That’s not to suggest that the Dalai Lama is a terrorist.  But he does have an agenda, and the proximity of this eruption to the Olympic Games, in my mind isn’t a coincidence.

I think it takes a certain kind of nerve to preach for a government, any government,what to do and how to negotiate its future.  The reason is simple.  When it doesn’t work, Roger Cohen isn’t going to be there to take the rockets, the suicide bombers, the hatred.  He will not publish an editorial saying “I was wrong”.  He has no stake in Tibet, no stake in Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan.

Picking on the media again.  It somehow sounds that the Chinese media is only showing a one sided picture of what “really happening”, while the western, “free” and “open” media should be let in a report things “as they are”.  I beg to differ.  Indeed, the news coming out of China are well censored.  But the western media are guilty of reporting the “convenient” or “favorite” side of the stories as well.  In 2000, two Israeli reserves took a wrong turn and ended up in Ramallah, Palestinian Territory.  To make a long story short, a mob entered the room where they were locked, threw them, alive, out the window, to the waiting crowd, who lynched the two poor guys, in a bloody, murderous presentation of anger.  That IS NOT the point though.  Dozens of “western”, “free” reporters were there.  They shot the entire scene.  It was all on tape, from every angle you can imagine.  It never aired.  In fact, most of the film was destroyed.  The reporters were given a few choices: air the footage and lose their lives or access to the West Bank, or destroy the footage.  As I said.  Most was destroyed.  Integrity was lynched that day as well.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_lynch_in_Ramallah)

Easy to criticize China.  The superpower, the non-democratic, the one-party country.  Easy to identify with the assumed victim.  I’m not suggesting right or wrong.  I suggest, read as much as you can, take the reports you get from the “free” media with a large grain of salt.  Don’t take anything for granted, don’t always assume who the victim is in a situation.  Employ your mind, your heart.  And preach when you have a stake.  When you don’t - hush!

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