Yes. No typo. Congratulations are in order. Welcome Hamas to the family of nations, of states, of distinguished governments around the world. Congratulations to Iran, for succeeding, after many years of trials and errors, to establish a settlement next door to Israel, next door to Egypt. A bridgehead of international terrorism, closer to the Western world. Closest.
To the young terrorist organization wherever you are. Whether it is in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq. In South America and the Philippines, in China and Russia. Most certainly, everywhere in Europe. This is what you may consider in order to shorten your way to the family of nations. If you do the following, you may be an honorable member of the United Nations. Even a member of the Security Council. It may give you access to resources, it may clear your questionable assets, and the way you raise your funds. It may save you money in operations and logistics. It’s a good investment, and will undoubtedly deliver an outstanding ROI. This is what you need to do.
- Choose something, and hate it very much. Develop writings, religious laws, writings against your subject of extreme hatred. Jews are a wonderful choice, the world has learned to hate Jews wherever they are, and Jews can easily be blamed for almost anything.
- Settle in a very poor area. The poorer the people are, the faster the success is.
- Use whatever methods you have at your disposal, rich people who believe in the cause or credit lines, to establish some “humanitarian” support for the population.
- Always exchange food, education, even money, with agreement to support the “cause”.
- Once you establish your place within the population, start purchasing arms. Iran is a good source, but there are others.
- Base your military operation in the midst of your “humanitarian” activities – schools, mosques are always good choices. Don’t hesitate to shoot from within homes, schools, places where people practice their religions. In fact, make sure you do.
- Don’t put your own people at risk. When war breaks, make sure that your leadership flees, that hiding places are ready (hospitals are excellent choices). Let the population deal with the destruction. This is a step that needs no active involvement at all.
- Perseverance always pays off. If a school gets a direct hit – jackpot. You win big time.
Congratulations, Hamas, You’ve shown that dedication, fanaticism, hard work, pays off. You are now part of the world leading organizations. You won, overnight, what states took decades of hard work to win. Welcome.
It is time to think big, Hamas. Why stop here? Look south, there’s a big country, even bigger than Israel, that awaits your leadership in overthrowing the government. You may consider Turkey as well. They are almost ready. The Emirates are probably the best choice: lots of oil and money over there. And the Mediterranean is not a very large ocean at all. Europe awaits you, Hamas. It’s time to think big, time to expand, time to lead.
And lets not forget the UN. For sixty years, you’ve worked on correcting the grave mistake you’ve made in 1947. The establishment of the State of Israel must have been seen by you as a terrible error, that you’ve worked to correct for over sixty years. Yesterday, with resolution 1860, you’ve finally made huge progress. Congratulations to you too.
It’s time to establish some new Committees and Councils in your organization, the United Nations. For starters, you may want to change the name. The Union of Nations for the Promotion of Jihad may be a better choice: UNPJ. I like the sound of it already. Then, the Committee for Islamic Education and Acceptance. The Council for Jewish Annihilation. The Eradication of Western Society and Culture Committee. There’s a lot of work to do, and very little time. But I trust, that you will be successful.
And once last word for the Nobel Prize Selection Committee. Haled Mashaal, the head of the Political Wing of Hamas, would love to be considered for the Nobel Prize for Peace. He deserves it. Indeed, it’s a different kind of peace than the one we dreamed about, the one we yearned for. But still peace. Unfortunately, many of us will not be able to enjoy this peace. We will be dead.
Ah, a post with absolutely no sarcasm!
The most important step is number 2. Poverty (and its ally, political oppression) are the necessary ingredients to foment social discontent. I think I heard you say more than once in China that the Chinese govt will never receive local opposition so long as peoples’ lives are becoming better and wealthier. The government itself realizes this – in the papers there last month, experts were quoted as saying if the unemployment goes over double digits, they will have social unrest.
United States is learning this in Latin America: for years we only turned our attention southwards when there are too many drugs coming across the border. But when it comes to economic development, we are much happier to get rich on the backs of the cheap labor there.
Israel’s policy of building the wall has increased personal safety, at the cost of keeping Palestine poor. I have seen this for myself personally, traveling to Palestine. I don’t think I’m crazy.
The solution is not to dump a bunch of money with the PA, you have convinced me of that. I do however applaud Intel for education investments like http://www.pcmag-mideast.com/NewsDetail.aspx?ID=1158 and hope the west does more.