I often get emails with some stories, lessons, self improvements. Often, I throw it away, since it provides little value, or it’s just obvious. Occasionally though, I do get something cute, interesting, that’s worth reading. Rarely, I get something worth sharing. Here are two I collected in the last six months. I received them in Hebrew, and the translation is mine. The rights are reserved, only I don’t know to whom.
The first is a short but more realistic version of the first chapter of the book of Genesis.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and the earth was covered with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and orange vegetables of all kinds. And Adam and Eve lived a very long and healthy life.
Then the Devil created Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, and the New York Bagel. And the devil asked Adam: “would you like some cream cheese with that?”, and Adam replied: “absolutely!”. And Eve said: “so do I. And some pickles too”. And the two gained five pounds each.
Then God created yogurt, so Eve can keep in the shape Adam loved so much. And the Devil created white flower, and white cane sugar, and he mixed them together. And Eve then started wearing size 44.
And God said: “thou shall eat from the green salad in my garden”. And the Devil said: “with blue cheese dressing and garlic bread on the side”. Then Adam and Eve loosened up their belts.
And God said: “I have sent you healthy vegetables for the heart, and some extra virgin olive oil!”
And the devil started a barbecue with lamb kebab, large T-Bone steaks and crispy fried chicken “all-you-can-eat” buffet. And Adam’s cholesterol shot up through the roof and to the heavens.
And God created the naturally low fat potatoes, and filled it up with potassium and other healthy minerals. And the devil peeled them, cut them to strips, and fried them in lard and called them “French Fries” and added salt. Lots of salt.
And Adam became really large, and Eve started having zits.
And God created the running shoes and gave them to the children so they can burn the extra fat. And the Devil created cable TV with remote control so Adam won’t work too hard while switching the channels.
And Adam and Eve started laughing and crying in front of the screen and buying their clothes at the Big & Tall stores.
And God gave Eve and Adam lean meat and diet products and light sausages, so they consume less calories. And the Devil created McDonald’s and the $1.00 double cheeseburger, and the Devil asked Adam: “would you like some fries with that?” and Adam said: “yes, and supersize it please”.
Then Adam and Eve had heart attacks, and God created the triple bypass surgery. And the Devil smiled and created the Health Ministry, the public hospitals, and the HMOs…
The second I liked because nobody’s perfect, but some people need a reminder to the fact. Surprisingly, the people needing the reminder think that they are perfect, but they are the only ones. The truth is nobody’s perfect. Yes, you too.
An old Chinese lady had two large jugs, hanging on ropes from both sides of a wooden stick. Every day the lady would wake up in the morning, walk down to the river and return home with water.
One of the jugs was perfect, while the other had a small hole at the bottom. The way back from the river was long, so the broken jug would always lose half the water on the way home. For two years, this was the lady’s routine, leaving the river with two full jugs of water, arriving home with only a jug and a half.
Naturally, the perfect jug was proud of its accomplishments, while the broken one was ashamed of its imperfection, and the fact that it was doing only half the job for which it was meant.
One day, right next to the river, after two full years of self perceived failure, the broken jug spoke to the woman and said: “I am so ashamed that due to my imperfections, you lose half the water on the way home”. The old woman smiled and said: “have you noticed that there’s a small garden of flowers on your side of the path and not on the other side? I’ve always known about your disability, that’s why I planted your side of the way with beautiful flowers, and every day, on our way home, you have watered those flowers”. “For two years, with your help, I was able to pick nice flowers and make the house look nice”. “If you were any different, I wouldn’t have been able to bring all this grace into the house”.
We all have our special imperfections. But its the faults, and the flaws and the imperfections of every one of us that make our lives together so interesting and fulfilling.
Every person should be looked at for what he is, for the good in him.
So to all my imperfect friends: may you have a wonderful day, and may you always remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
I like these two very much. I wouldn’t dream of sending emails to all my friends and acquaintances, I think it’s way too pervasive and impolite. But publishing it here, well that’s a whole different story, is it not?
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