Amiram's Observations » China

So What Happens in the End?

admin — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 08:13:10 +0000

Not the end you think. I was actually referring to the end of a TV show.

For quite some time, maybe as long as a full year, friends have been telling me about a “must see” TV show. The level of enthusiasm was somewhere between excited and lunatic. And while curiosity is my middle name, I took my time. After all House had a few more patients to be rude to, and Start Trek had a few more places to visit in the Delta Quadrant. But curiosity, as it may imply, does its job picking at the brain to the point where you actually go to the video store, see the show and decide to actually get it. The first season only though. I never thought that multiple seasons should be purchased upfront, before the quality, interest, added value can be established.

But truthfully, I wasn’t that excited. The name of the show implied a lot of noise, for a singular event. If you wish, a two year buildup of a storm that ends up in a single shower. Tons of smoke and ashes ending up in a single small, minor eruption of a volcano. Get the drift?

Prison Break, by definition is the act of, well, let me think how to say it, breaking out of prison. It’s a one time thing. You get into prison, and you break out. I believe that the show actually aired three years ago, counting about twenty two episodes per season, I assumed that it meant a volcanic storm. A major buildup for something next to nothing. So my expectations weren’t very high to begin with.

After cleaning the fish tank, watering the plants, pumping the cornered bicycle with a manual pump, and washing the clean dishes, I ran out of excuses, and Dorit and I sat down to watch the pilot.

It was a grand moment. We felt like we are part of some mysterious, obscure cult, which secretly convenes after the children went to sleep to watch something suspenseful and intriguing. I wasn’t disappointed. As it turns out, though, I ran out of luck. The worst possible scenario happened. I thought it was boring. Dorit loved it. We have to watch it. As we enjoy each other’s company, parting during prime time is not an option.

There are many shows that I like. Many shows I don’t, but at least I understand why other people like them. For the life of me I don’t understand why people like this show. Is it the squinting that happens once every two minutes, when the leading character surveys his surroundings trying to make sense of it? Is it just the prison setting? The conspiracy? The script is shallow, predictable, and as full of holes as Swiss cheese. A funny error (I think it’s an error anyway) is a VHS videotape of the “murder”. The tape is watched multiple times, and each time, the subtitle “rec” is shown as part of the tape. Now, I’m not a professional photographer, but as far as I know the “rec” subtitle only shows on the monitor while you’re recording, but it doesn’t show on the tape. By the way, if you choose to watch the tape on the camera itself, the subtitle would say “play”…

I like to watch shows with objectives. Shows that present a problem, a bug if you will, whether it’s a murder, or a sickness, or even a new race of aliens in the Betazoid System. The plot continues as multiple reasonings are used, possible solutions are presented and scrapped, and then, finally, in a climactic scene, the actual solution is presented. What’s the point in a problem that continues on and on and on, for multiple seasons? And as for the question in the title? Lets guess. The brother on death row is put to death, while the other brother gets out on parole and marries the lawyer. Right. Let me guess again. They run away, for two seasons they dodge the secret service, until finally their innocence is proven on the fourth season. One of the brothers marries the lawyer. End of story until the next bore is released.

I guess I’ll have to make up for it with more popcorn…

Are We Ready?

admin — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:57:24 +0000

I’m being asked so often and so many times, I decided to deliver a collective answer to the following question: is Beijing ready for the Olympic Games?

I remember four years ago, just before the opening ceremony of the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens Greece, there were doubts. There were questions. There were rumors. Is Athens ready for the Olympics? 2004 came and went, and it’s a few weeks before the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, and the questions are being asked again.

You may ask what can possibly qualify me, yours truly, to even try and answer the question. I moved to Beijing in April of 2006. I live in the north-east part of town (Chaoyang District), and work on the north-west part of town (Haidian District). Twice a day, close to five days a week, and sometimes more, I drive by the National Stadium. Yes, the “Bird’s Nest”. And twice a day, the same twice – going to and fro work, I see the Aquatics Center. Yes, the one next to the Bird’s Nest… For two years I’ve been watching the structures get erected, covered, finished. I’ve seen the road leading to the stadium, and paid the traffic price involved.

So let me be very clear and direct. From where I sit in the car, it’s clear to me that with the exception of that next to last tree in the front row of trees, which is kinda leaning to the left, everything else is waiting for the athletes to start running, jumping, swimming and well, compete. Beijing looks like it’s already ready for the Olympic Games of 2008. The streets are clean, full of flowers, repaved.

I’m willing to bet that the Olympic Games in Beijing will be outstanding. I’m hoping that we, Beijingers, will be able to enter the Olympic season on July 1, and exit on September 30 in one piece. Why? Because there are side effects to the Olympics. Nothing out of the ordinary. Traffic restrictions, congested roads and public transportation, and high prices. About the high prices, let me suggest to the vendors: no tourist in their right mind will pay European prices for local goods.

And yes, I do have tickets to three events. All at the National Stadium. I can’t wait, although I have no idea how to get there with public transportation…

Bottom line y’all, yes, we’re ready for the Olympics. Are you?

Close Encounters of the Strange Kind

admin — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 11:22:11 +0000

I took Guy downstairs to ride his scooter, a very unusual event. And with good reason. Watching Guy riding his scooter, his bicycle or even playing on the monkey bars isn’t good for my health. Every time he falls, or seems to fall, or about to fall, or is standing next to a child that might fall in the next hour or so, my heart starts beating out of rhythm. I usually ask my wife, Dorit, to watch Guy playing or riding. I’m good at reading stories, playing computer games, and jigsaw puzzles. The couch potato games…

Anyway, I’m standing there, recovering from Guy’s last maneuver, and there she was. A young woman, shabby looking with a floor touching skirt, an out of fashion out of season hat, sandals, and a huge nap sack. In retrospect, she was looking precisely as she was supposed to look, but she was so out of context, that I was completely thrown. She was all smiles, and she introduced herself, in Hebrew. I extended my hand, and the answer was surprising at the time, but not so in retrospect. It was: “I don’t shake hands, but my husband does”. Providing a few pieces of completely irrelevant data: she’s married, uninterested in strange men, and that she is a practicing religious Jew. As I said, irrelevant. Then came the next surprise. She actually was interested. Well, not that way. She was interested in making the acquaintance. Israelis, particularly when they are living outside of Israel tend to flock. It’s not an unusual thing, nor a bad one, it’s just a fact. Everyone likes to have the company of his or her own kind on occasion. In the absence of family, it’s a great substitute.

But in fact, religious Jews in Beijing in general, and in our apartment complex in particular are as common as fish on bicycles, scuba diving birds, or flying baboons. No offense meant of course. In retrospect, I was very disappointed at my own reaction. The offense deserved some reaction. We continued the conversation, I handed her my number, and we parted. What I should have done is to say: “I don’t talk to strange women, but my wife does”. But I was brought up differently. Courtesy comes natural to me. In order to not offend someone I’m willing to go to great distances. I will eat strange foods, take part in strange ceremonies, I will be polite, and well mannered.

Amazingly, Judaism preaches to just that. There’s a famous proverb in Hebrew which suggests “The Way of the Land Precedes the Torah” (דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה). In other words, respect and courtesy come first, religion second. But this isn’t practiced anymore, unfortunately. Moreover. The original Judaism is very aware of personal relationships. In fact, Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, only covers the relationship between a man and his Creator. What it doesn’t cover is the relationship between man and man. In other words, if someone didn’t follow the word of God, they can repent on the Day of Atonement. But if someone hurt another human being, they can fast and pray year round, and it won’t be forgiven, until the person goes and asks for forgiveness. From the hurting person that is. But unfortunately again, this too was put aside. Forgotten.

I was offended, I was hurt. And the additional data provided only made me feel worse. I was only being polite. And I’m willing to bet, that the real Jewish women, who care about God, but also care about their fellow human beings, would shake my hand even if it was inappropriate. After all, if that was a sin, Day of Atonement would take care of it. Now, she has to look me up and ask for my forgiveness…

But there’s more. Is a relationship between our families possible? According to their practice, they can’t eat even a bread crumb at our house, not a glass of water. We can’t go out to restaurants, there’s only one kosher restaurant in entire Beijing, and it’s way too expensive and way too unrewarding. We can’t watch a movie, we can’t walk in the park on Saturdays. Truly, there’s nothing we can do together except one. The usual scenario is simple. Real simple. We can get invited to a “Shabbat Meal”, usually a Friday night dinner or Saturday lunch. We can practice their ceremonies – wash our hands before the meal, recite the prayers before and after the meal, sing some special poems and songs. Supposedly, not a big deal for us, except “experiencing a little Yiddishkeit” – Judasim, become “closer”. For them, it’s the opportunity to get a completely secular (some even atheist) family a little closer to Judaism. I hear that you score some good points with the Man upstairs for that.

Well, my friend, I’ll have to disappoint you. It won’t work. The reason is simple, and short. Been there, done that. I graduated from a Yeshiva (yes, for those of you who had no idea, particularly you, who think I’m the exemplary atheist – I’m sorry for not disclosing earlier), and my ex wife is a religious Jew. I spent more time in synagogues than I care to admit, and recited way too many prayers already. I want my children, at least the ones who live with me, to grow free of this burden. I want them to be curious, inquisitive, and to learn to live with unanswered questions. And in answer to your unasked question: no, I’m not a self-hating Jew. In fact, I’m proud of it.

And yes, I forgive you.