The Free Market is Not So Free After All…

The free market:

1. The free market is free to go up.  Once it goes down, the government kicks in…
2. The market enjoys the freedom of speech, the freedom to vote, the right to bear arms.  It doesn’t have the freedom to go the wrong way.  Only the government can do that…
3. The market doesn’t have free will, it does have the freedom to write its own will…
4. Risk distribution means that for as long as the market is up you make a lot of money, but once the market is down we all share the losses…
5. The free market means that everyone is free to live beyond their means, and the government is free to pay their bills…
6. The free market offers no free lunch, but a five course gourmet dinner is on the Fed…
7. The market is free of charge, credit, mortgages, loans, derivatives, stock, options and quite a few investment banks…
8. The free market is the freedom of stocks to free-fall regardless of the performance of the companies that issued them…
9. Say not: “Land of the free and the home of the brave”, say: “Land of the free market and the home of the brave investors”.
10. The American free market is master of all the other free markets of the world.
11. Finally, a slightly different Pledge of Allegiance: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation under God, indivisible, With Liberty, Justice and plenty of risk for all.